Friday, November 18, 2011

DIViji: It's Curtains For Me...and Charlie.

I hear you.  Two curtain posts in one week?  I threw some nipple leakage in the middle.  Get off my back.

I've made a fair amount of curtains in my lifetime.  Tab-top and grommet.  Lined and unlined.  I'm comfortable with curtains.  Until I got bitch-slapped by Viji's curtains.  Read on.

These are her old curtains.  I really love the red fabric, but the cream panel in the middle threw things off for me.  The living room and dining room windows get a lot of sunlight so it is essential to have the curtains shut all the way.  We wanted them to shut via two panels though, not a creamy three.

We looked at a lot of fabric, almost getting blisters from trekking around JoAnns so much.  After taping fabric samples to the wall and couch to make sure everything blended, we had a winner.  Viji and her kiddos fell in love with the turquoise brocade fabric and we got the gold for accent.  Turquoise and gold is winning for Viji as hookers and blow is winning for Charlie Sheen.

What caught me off guard was the hugeness of Viji's windows.  The 'small' panels needed to be about 12 feet.  How, you ask, did I not completely see the giant ass windows in the room?  That's just how I roll, Sister Friend.  If there is a speeding train to Margaritaville, I jump on and get about half way before I ask how long, how much or where do we stop.

It was exhausting throwing around 5 yards of curtain panel and then intricately pinning and ironing.  Halfway into the first one I kind of just wanted to smother myself with all the fabric and die.  I kept focused on Maragritaville though and somehow sweaty motivation started oozing out of my pores.  It helped that Viji has a very open floor plan so I could spread everything out and double check the length against the old curtains.

Hanging them was blood pumping as well.  Mr. Schatze came by on his lunch break to hold the ladder for me.  I promised about a year ago to always let him know when I am doing a climb after a little 'setting the ladder on the kitchen table to change the light bulb' indecent.  No one got hurt so I don't know what the big deal was, but anyway.  While I was at the top holding on to the monster panel simultaneously trying to balance and clip, I pretended that I was on The Amazing Race going for the big cash prize.  Hey, it works for me.  "Heidi, you are the first team to arrive!"  I know, Phil.

Viji loves the curtains and most of all, I love the fact that they are done.  I was worried for a few seconds that these curtains might actually be the end of me.  There is just too much DIViji tiger blood pumping in my veins I guess.

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