Isaac's Crib: Bachelor Pad Curtains

Isaac isn't even out of the womb yet, and he has already let his crib turn into a frat boy bachelor pad.  Bottles everywhere - clothes all over the floor - enough white powder to send him to the clink for 80 to life.  I'm pretty sure I saw a hooker climbing out of his window as we walked in, but I'm not 100% so I am letting it go.

In all honesty, the people to blame for the room disaster are the parents of the students in Jen's third grade class.  It was recently teacher appreciation week, and instead of doing the typical flowers, snacks, candy, etc., they decided to make a baby themed week of gifts for her.

Diaper Monday

Tub Tuesday - bath supplies, wash clothes, towels

Wipe Wednesday - baby wipes

Thoughtful Thursday - baby clothes, books, treats for Jen

Their generosity was ridiculous.

So ridiculous that I had to climb over their mountains of benevolence just to get the damn curtains I made hung up.

Then I shoved everything to one side of the room so I could get a clean picture to show the curtain addition. 

That's how the legit bloggers roll.  Shoving.  Any beauty emanating from the creation in the lens needs to be balanced by piled tension behind the camera.  

This is a closer look at the curtain fabric that matches the wall stripes and is accented in his crib quilt.  Isaac will have a keen sense of complimentary colors and fabric balance.  I'll make sure of it.

I put in blackout fabric for the lining, because when I babysit and want to pass out on that plush orange rug, the only thing that better wake me up is the chills from my blood alcohol level dipping too low.

And just so you can sleep comfortably tonight, we did get that mountain of generosity all organized and put away before I left.  But that's it for me.  Once Isaac shows up in about a month the room cleaning is all up to him.  And the next lady of the night I see trying to sneak out of his room is in for it. There will be a Heidi chase down...so I can give her a business card for any inappropriate attire she might need.

DIViji: It's Curtains For Me...and Charlie.

I hear you.  Two curtain posts in one week?  I threw some nipple leakage in the middle.  Get off my back.

I've made a fair amount of curtains in my lifetime.  Tab-top and grommet.  Lined and unlined.  I'm comfortable with curtains.  Until I got bitch-slapped by Viji's curtains.  Read on.

These are her old curtains.  I really love the red fabric, but the cream panel in the middle threw things off for me.  The living room and dining room windows get a lot of sunlight so it is essential to have the curtains shut all the way.  We wanted them to shut via two panels though, not a creamy three.

We looked at a lot of fabric, almost getting blisters from trekking around JoAnns so much.  After taping fabric samples to the wall and couch to make sure everything blended, we had a winner.  Viji and her kiddos fell in love with the turquoise brocade fabric and we got the gold for accent.  Turquoise and gold is winning for Viji as hookers and blow is winning for Charlie Sheen.

What caught me off guard was the hugeness of Viji's windows.  The 'small' panels needed to be about 12 feet.  How, you ask, did I not completely see the giant ass windows in the room?  That's just how I roll, Sister Friend.  If there is a speeding train to Margaritaville, I jump on and get about half way before I ask how long, how much or where do we stop.

It was exhausting throwing around 5 yards of curtain panel and then intricately pinning and ironing.  Halfway into the first one I kind of just wanted to smother myself with all the fabric and die.  I kept focused on Maragritaville though and somehow sweaty motivation started oozing out of my pores.  It helped that Viji has a very open floor plan so I could spread everything out and double check the length against the old curtains.

Hanging them was blood pumping as well.  Mr. Schatze came by on his lunch break to hold the ladder for me.  I promised about a year ago to always let him know when I am doing a climb after a little 'setting the ladder on the kitchen table to change the light bulb' indecent.  No one got hurt so I don't know what the big deal was, but anyway.  While I was at the top holding on to the monster panel simultaneously trying to balance and clip, I pretended that I was on The Amazing Race going for the big cash prize.  Hey, it works for me.  "Heidi, you are the first team to arrive!"  I know, Phil.

Viji loves the curtains and most of all, I love the fact that they are done.  I was worried for a few seconds that these curtains might actually be the end of me.  There is just too much DIViji tiger blood pumping in my veins I guess.

It's Curtains For You...

2010. The day after Christmas. I giddily rushed around the local JoAnns with my DIY-brotha-from-a-different-motha, Zach.  We entered in order to check out the clearance fabric that was an additional 50% off that day, but we stayed to film an entire episode on curtains for our new home show instead.  A show that does not exist.  And an episode that we filmed with our pretend hand crank video cameras like 5-year-olds.  Embarrassingly marvelous, much to the chagrin of our spouses.  

Despite such a tight schedule for filming, Zach managed to pick out the fabric and styles that he wanted for curtains in their new home. Then, after a hair and make-up touch up, I went to work.  Measure. Cut. Fold. Iron. Sew. Iron. Ship curtains to Zach in Illinois.

A blue wave rod pocket for the closet without doors:

Blue wave to let a little sun into the bedroom:

Orange paisley tab top curtains for the living room.  Zach painted and framed the orange masterpiece on the right.  So talented.

That crafty bugger even went out into the woods to find the perfect sticks to use as curtain rods.  I am lucky to have such an amazing co-host.

The same style for the nearby dining room.

And cut.  That's a wrap.  We will get that video out as soon as the footage from our pretend cameras gets back from editing.  [curtain closes]