Baby Got Back, No, Just Belly

Recently I had the pleasure of helping plan a 'Baby Kewley Extravaganza' for the beautiful Leah, shown below.  She is expecting a baby girl, Bunny, in January.  No, she isn't actually going to give her precious daughter a stripper name, the name is secret, so I gave her a stripper name. Bunny Biguns.

Kelly, Kristi and I teamed up to take the event from sweet to spectacular.  They contributed the gourmet delicacies, heavenly sangria, class and sophistication.  I contributed crafts, baby games, huss and intoxication.  

The three of us met weeks in advance to whip up a diaper cake under the direction of Real Moms DIY instructions.  We took it to the next level with four tiers, a handmade 'baby Kewley' cake topper and coordinating fabrics.  The Real Moms instructions say to build the core of the diaper cake around a bottle of baby powder and a baby bottle.  I'm no mom, but I can safely say that if my baby just shit through the 175 diapers on my diaper cake I wouldn't give a rat's about a bottle of powder.  At risk of spoiling it for Leah, I will just say that we put something in the center for mama's needs.  Take care of your friends, Puddin'.

During planning I became obsessed with this pink green floral fabric.  You saw it on the cake.

Now you see it spray adhesive and Modge Podged onto mini clipboards.  We used them for games.  Also good for balancing two more glasses of sangria to your seat so you only have to get up once.

So obsessed in fact that I also fashioned the game sheets to match the fabric.

Game #1:  Memory Game.

Kristi carried a tray full of baby items around the room, giving each attendee a second or two to take a gander before carrying it away.  Then, they had to write down everything that they could remember.  Since mom-to-be gets to keep all the tray items add some huss with a vibrator, edible undies or pasties.  It's never too early to be thinking about baby number two right?  Leah's tray wasn't nearly as hot as I was hoping.  Who knew Phoenix sex shops weren't 24 hours?

Game #2: Name That Tune

After fleshing out my favorite songs containing the word 'baby,' I drug them all into a playlist on Itunes and turned them into 20 second-ish clips.  I may have let the clips run over 20 seconds for 'Baby Got Back', 'Push It' and Justin Bieber.  There may have been dancing too.

Game #3: BINGO

While Leah opened gifts, guests took turns drawing out squares for the BINGO game.  

We included the standards like onesie and bottle.  

We personalized it with the due date and "it's a girl!"  

We crossed the line with nipple leakage and vagina photos.  Just keepin' it real.

We're not done with the matchy matchy.  I made matching Thank You notes for Leah too.  And by 'for Leah' I mean one pack for her and two packs for me.

Someone recommended we have each guest address their thank you envelope so it is one less thing Belly McGee had to worry about.  So smart!

I just about made Leah little sticky inserts to peel off and put in the thank you notes that said:

Dear _______,
Thank you so much for the __________!  I can't wait to use it in the __________.  It was ___________ having you at the shower and I hope to see you again ___________.

I decided not to let her off that easy.

We even matchy martchied the cupcake flowers, baby clothes decorations and take home monster cookies. Reliving all this color coordination kind of makes me want to throw up...or eat a cupcake.  I can't quite tell.  OK, eat a cupcake.

 

It was a great day and Leah is going to be a fantastic mom.  I can't wait to babysit Bunny soon, gently rocking her to sleep, singing softly:

So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back.