Tuesday, June 5, 2012

DIDon't: If the Glove Fits

DIY for yourself is one thing.

DIY as a gift for someone else is another.  And if not executed correctly, can turn the giver into the likes of Cinderella at The Central Perk.  Friendless and disenchanted.

I stress like crazy when I make someone a gift.  Do they really want or need something else?  A practical gift instead? Is this even their style? Do they actually have somewhere to store it?

Sometimes you are handed gift opportunities on a silver platter, like when A-drin Amy got married.  She sent a file of all her wedding plans, including the fabrics that she was using to masterfully DIY all her table runners and cloth accents.  I ordered her chosen fabrics and made a rag quilt throw as part of her wedding gift.  

Minimal stress because she essentially picked everything out for herself.

And sometimes we have DIY fails.  Many myself.  But today isn't about me.  

My friend, Michelle, is a 3rd grade teacher, hilarious, a breast cancer survivor and blindsides people with her angelically toned inappropriateness. 

On the last day of school she received a pair of personally knit fingerless Pink Ribbon gloves as a token of appreciation for taking such good care of their cherub, that we will call Bobby.

No, no.  Not Bobby Cute-and-Courteous.  Bobby Wanted-to-stab-classmates-in-the-heart-with-pens.

She wasn't even expecting a gift for keeping Bobby from being tried as an adult.  I mean, it is part of her job right?  And Arizonans need the fingerless gloves for when the temps dip to 65.  And I'm sure that breast cancer ass kickers then want everything they can get with a Pink Ribbon on it, right?

Let's be clear.  This is me judging.

I  have never been in the position of parenting, nor <praise sweet baby Jesus> of having the cops called on my 9-year-old bundle of psychosis at school.  But, I can say with confidence that if that does ever happen and I can't with all efforts subdue my desire to knit that teacher some fingerless gloves, then they will be gifted with either the chilliest vat of Chardonnay that I can find or encasing the most chiseled hunk of  burning love that the Phoenix Naked Masseur site has to offer.  Yes, if the glove fits then that is where he will wear them.

And lastly, sometimes your DIY gift is for a sister.  Don't lose a minute of sleep.  She will keep on loving you no matter what she thinks of the thong joggers.


  1. I loved the thong joggers! Especially since they came wrapping a bottle of vodka! Your friend should use the mitts as wine bottle koozies, one for each of you...since I assume you don't share bottles...

    1. Great idea! In all honesty, the gloves were a great gift because of the fun we had thinking of different random uses. Oh, and I'm glad you loved the joggers...and can't wait to make you a more modern version. ;)