Friday, April 27, 2012

He's Too Classy For This Shower

It's {more than} a boy...

It's a Sophisticated Gentleman.

Bow ties and mustaches are all the rage these days, so when it was time to start planning a co-ed shower for Jen and Jeff we threw a top hat in with the bows and mos and labeled the theme Sophisticated Gentleman.  And by "we" I mean three of Jen and Jeff's classiest friends...and then me.

The rules from Jen were simple: fun, people drinking, and I wasn't allowed to go over the top.

You read that correctly.  There is no 'we' in that 'I.'

The message was specific, "Don't let Heidi go over the top."

Is it over the top to have little bow ties plastered on all the drink options?

No way.

Over the top to sprinkle the decor with a few of the couples baby photos?

Since I used frames from my wall at home, this is a clear No.

Over the top to make cupcake pinwheels and cut out a few Special K bars into mustache shapes?

Well, depending on the pers...Naaah, we're still good.

Over the top to make custom baby game card sheets?

Yes, you're right.  I completely ignored Jen's last rule.

Not only that, but we played the least classy shower game of them all.  I tried to put lipstick on the pig by calling it 'Name That Bum Loaf' instead of 'The dirty diaper candy bar game' but its nasty with any name.

At least competition was fierce.  Most of the guys hadn't played before and were so very intrigued.  One even took a lick down the middle of his diaper.

Um, you know those get passed around right?

Disgustingly fantastic.

We also did the Name that Tune with the word baby in it, but called it 'Name That Grinder.'  I felt like that title lent itself to more of a club atmosphere.  You could even earn extra points for dancing inappropriately in front of the group.

The winning team took home CDs with the full versions of all the songs.

Those lucky bastards.

The games wrapped up with a baby bottle beer chugging contest. And more prizes.

What a sight to see.  I hope that it is introduced at the London Olympics.

In the end, Jen was happy, Jeff was happy and the bow tied tequila was empty, so the rest of us were happy.

And yes, the diaper cake was full of booze too.  Just like Leah's. I will never make one without it again.

Wait, what?  You're confused because beer chugging and licking out diapers isn't something a sophisticated gentleman would do?  Hold up.  I said HE is going to be sophisticated. Not WE.

His chance of awesomeness is irrefutable with these parents.

 Maybe with a little uncouth in him just from knowing me.

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