Order Up: Fix The Door

If saving the Rock County Star Herald's - On The Record sections makes me a hoarder, then yes, I am a filthy, sordid squirrel and On The Record be my sweet weekly nuts.

It paid off when I received a request from a Luverne native whose husband also finds delight in the police department chronicles.  For an instant I worried that I wouldn't have enough fodder to make another stand, but then quickly remember my roots.  Luverne may be scant on grocery locales and places to eat after 9 PM, but there is plenty of crazy to go around.

I called it Fix The Door

Honestly, I didn't mean that crazy comment bad.  It is good crazy.  Phoenix has felony/capital punishment crazy.  I feel like if the career criminals here would have had someone call their ass in the first time that they put on that blaze orange ski mask and ran around naked after cars then things wouldn't have gotten so far out of hand for them.

Dispatch: Attention all units. We have a Code 83 on Blue Mound Ave.
Deputy Dwayne:  Jay Jay or Hum Diddler?
Dispatch: That'd be a Diddler.
Deputy Dwayne:  Damn it. It's my cousin, Bucky. Can we keep this one out of the paper?
Dispatch: That'd be a negative.  He'll learn from this.

In the end, there was more than I could squeeze onto one plate.  And it kept pouring in every week, so I decided to get ahead of the game and made:

Your Brother Is An Ass 
Available on Etsy

And two new paper weights:

Nap Time
Available on Etsy

and Red Touch
Available on Etsy

So much gossip.  So little time.