LEGO Vaughn: Red Bright and Blue

This 4th of July I drink to celebrate our great country.  And honestly, also, to celebrate the completion of my nephew Vaughn's LEGO bedroom.

You saw the mural come to life on facebook.

And in the next couple of weeks, I will share the details of how my sister Sherri, Anthony and I took his room from Bunk Bed Beige:

to Red, Bright and Blue - LEGO style:

I'll even divulge the behind the scenes frenzy.  About my tears when I learned that Vaughn didn't want to keep his Hotwheels painting in the room because it didn't go with the LEGO theme.  About Sherri's favorite color, greige (gray + beige) and how, after some hyperventilating, it helped us meet up in a cosmopolitan color scheme fit for a prince.  And about what it is was like for me to work with two first-born adults.

Wait, I'll tell you that right now.  It was bliss.  Knowing that everything was going to be measured thrice and cut once, perfectly spaced and that the LEGOs in the art would be positioned with their tiny logos facing the same way.

I didn't ask for that last one, but I got it.

I'll also tell you now that these photos were taken about twenty minutes after we wanted to be arriving at the airport for our flight home to Phoenix.

It was madness.

Euphoric LEGO madness.

I look forward to sharing it all with you.

And I look forward to that celebratory drink.  The drink to honor the women and men that protect our country's freedom. And the drink to the red striped shirt LEGO man that safeguards my nephew's imagination.

Update: Links to all the LEGO projects:
Upholstered Box Spring
Name Art
Headboard and Cornice
Mural

School Days: When Life Gives You Lemons

When life gives you lemons...

Water down the juice and sell your sour pucker cups to elementary school parents under the ruse of 'donating the money to charity.'

Wait.  That's a college lesson. The third graders at my favorite elementary school actually followed through with the donation.

The fundraiser was started by last year's batch of budding nine-year-olds.  Spring for them meant learning about business.  Business costs, supply and demand, advertising, sales pitches.  All the fundamentals paralleled with reading the action packed novela The Lemonade Wars.  It was all just another random lesson until the day before spring break 2011. That day one of their sixth grade friends died in the hallway from an ongoing heart condition. During their sadness and hurt, and with the help of their teachers, they decided to start their own businesses for an upcoming school event to raise money for the Phoenix Children's Hospital.  A place routinely frequented by their sixth grade buddy.

Each third grade class picked a business.

Lemonade Stand
Manicure Station
Candygrams
Tattoos

Sort of a One-Stop-Salon-Shop if you will.

The business hours were set for 'Celebrate Learning Night' when every grade level would be lovingly leading/dragging their parents through the hallways.

Jen asked last year's kids to come up with as many advertising ideas as they could.

Sign spinning. Great.
Commercials for the school news. Let's do it.
Ask Ms. Heidi to sew us a lemon costume like that pizza guy that stands on the corner by Slices. Um, I'll ask.

Of course she knew I would say 'yes.'  She was just being polite.

Just like I said yes when this year's class needed lemontastic T-shirt iron-ons with their snappy slogan.

The four classes together raised $740 last Thursday night.

And I delightedly watched 22 mini entrepreneurs work a lemon costume with more ferocity than the Suns Gorilla on crack.  If I was a fightin' girl I would have driven the lemon above down to the corner by Slices and had her tell the Pizza costume, "You better call Pizza Hut, because you just got pizowned!"

Let's be real.  The only thing that stopped me from making that drive was the fear of kidnapping charges.

Some of the success of the night could be credited to Isaac's belly advertising too.  I hope that he has as much heart and generosity as those third graders.  And I hope he likes costumes because it is out of his hands until he can utter the words, "Please Ms. Heidi, I don't want to wear the Mr. T headpiece anymore."

School Days: Math is Wicked Hahd

Last Friday, I got to read The Lorax to 3rd graders for Read Across America day. It has been my go-to story, but now that the movie is out I need to retire it from my arsenal. I can't compete with Danny DeVito. The only two 'voices' I can do for stories are a raspy Marky Mark, which I used for the Once-ler and an uptight British chap that occasionally slips into an East Indian accent unintentionally, for the Lorax.

I wonder how Yertle the Turtle would sound as a throaty Mark Wahlberg? We'll see next year.

After the read fest, I checked out the status of the Math Facts Pizza.  At the beginning of the year, Teacher Jen wanted a big paper pizza for the wall that the kids could use to measure their math progress towards a class pizza party. I gave her huge, cloth and stuffed crust from fabric that I had on hand at home.

Each pizza ingredient represents one of their tests, so when the kids get a 90% on their 3-minute 100 problem addition test, then they get to add some cheese.  Pineapple pizza is my favorite so it earned the renowned division status.

This class of kids are meeting their math goals faster than any other year. 

I like to think it is the pizza. But, I know it is because they are just a ridiculously sharp group of future leaders.

They jumped into multi-facts test after Christmas and asked if I would make them sausages for the pizza.

When I checked on Friday there were already five greasy sausages on display.

A few Fridays ago when I dropped off the sausage chunkers, Teacher Jen showed them to the kids. I overheard this conversation as they were getting their backpacks after the meaty announcement.

Tall-snarky-whippersnapper that reminds me of myself:  Wow. Those sausages are pretty disturbing.

Tiny-blonde-Jenny-on-the-Spot: Hey. Be Nice! You are going to hurt Mrs. Heidi's feelings.

I laughed to myself and pretended not to hear.

Smart AND compassionate? Watch out world.

Genius: Child's Own

Wendy from Canada takes children's art work and makes it come to life as a soft toy.

I wish I would have thought of that.

Genius.

Score another one for the Canucks.

Link: Child's Own

School Days: Channing Totems

Last Tuesday night, I was finessing the delicate finishing touches on Jordan Knight's hairline with some ashy gray paint.  A hairline that I hadn't realized until that moment, was very similar to the Jersey Shore style of today. Without the rat tail.  I had completely forgotten about NKOTB rat tails until watching the videos.  That part of them did not live on in my fantasies. I was just about to hum the corus of "Please Don't Go Girl" when Teacher Jen's phone call sucked me out of my hot hair trance and forcibly shoved me into a Pacific Northwest Indian tribe circa 1850.

Jen: How do you feel about making totem poles with the kids on Friday?
Me: Um, ecstatic.
Jen: OK, you know I don't mean actually carving wood with 3rd graders, right? I was thinking paper on the wall in the back corner, something we can curve around and build up.
Me: <Lying> Of course I knew that.
Jen: I just don't have time to help work anything out by Friday. Can you plan it and let me know if I need to do anything before hand?
Me: I have a plan, no worries. It will be easy.
Jen: No knives?
Me: No knives.

So Mr. Schatze built us some amazing totem pole stands from scrap wood and leftover home decor fabric rolls.

That wasn't my plan. I mean, not for him to make them. Sometimes, yes, I am passive aggressive in my requests. Like, "Hey, will you help me clean the bathrooms?" I really just want them cleaned.  When I asked him to help me make totem pole stands, I actually meant it.

Good thing he did more than help though, because they were better than anything that I would have duct taped together.  He even used some weight lifting equipment on the bottom to provide support and stability.

I love him.

The kids utilized their paper sections for drawing pictures representing what was important to them. There were a lot with footballs and playground equipment. One with The Hunger Games books.

When the day was over I stayed after to make lions, the school mascot, for both sides of the totem tops.  While cutting the manes, I decided it would be awesome to scrap the lion bit altogether and put a big Channing Tatum head on the top instead.

I know right?! Channing Totems!

Instead, Teacher Jen got to be the shining star of the totems. That is her with the billowy brown hair on the left.

Maybe next year.

School Days: Gender Reveal

Remember when I didn't want to make my friend Jen mad when we decorated her classroom for her birthday? The main reason that I wanted to keep her happy was because she is pregnant and was puking up a storm at the time. Jen is feeling less like the vomitnator now and more like the sleepinator, so things are moving up in her world.

Yesterday she found out the gender of her baby and said that I had one night to whip up some gender reveal cupcakes for her coworkers if I was still interested.  She couldn't hold her foaming-at-the-mouth teaching team back any longer than that. Still interested? Are you kidding me? I was hovering over the creamy vanilla cake batter with the pink coloring in the left fist and the blue coloring in the right fist.  

I followed the bake a heart in a cupcake tutorial here. Surprise! It is a boy!

OK, here's the skinny on those heart cupcakes.  With a mild amount of effort, you can see in the photo above that those are hearts.  You can see it because I cut perfectly down the center where I knew the hearts had the best chance of moist debut.  This is my only moment of glory with the hearts. This here -- shared with you.

I thought about stopping the first few cupcake recipients today.

Wait! Not like that!
Hold it with the '?' facing you!
OK, now shove exactly half in your mouth. Wider...more.
Yep, bite directly down the center.
Now what do you see?

<in mouth-full-of-cake dialect> It's a boy!

No Jackass! It's a heart! Throw me a bone here. Geez.

The excitement and joy we all shared for Jen would have still been there if I had just piped some blue creaminess into the centers. You don't need a heart to fill a cupcake with love people. Lesson learned.

Rules say 'no homemade items for the school kids' so we made little treat boxes to do a reveal for them with blue wrapped candy.

 The really got into it. I may have amped them up a little before hand too.

There were even some high-fives shared between my homeboys in the back row.  It means a lot for them to have another dude on the team I guess.

Jen is so smart. She made them ration the candy then take most of it home. She is going to be a great mom on so many levels.

Now, I just have a couple months to get going on some baby bow ties and suspender sets. I'm serious.

Flash Back To the Future

Finally, the end to this nephew painting trilogy. No more paint for a while.  Well, until I take you back to Viji’s to share what has been getting color shmeared over there.  Until then, sit back and get ready to be sucked into the captivating story about when my nephew Vaughn threw the ring and Gollum into the fiery lava to save Middle-earth. Wait...no. I mean how Vaughn teamed up with Danny Ocean in an effort to bring Willy Banks and his casino down a diamond after messing with their boy, Rueben.

No?

Not that kind of trilogy? Suit yourself, but you are screwing yourself out of a delightful Clooney / Pitt / Cheadle / nephew Vaughn candygram.

Vaughn loves Hot Wheels (along with hugs, drawing ninjas and stealing cereal bars from his Uncle Schatze while he has his back turned and then eating them). And, much like my own burning obsession, the kid also loves red.

I checked out the hotwheels.com website to find something that would fit the bill for his acrylic undertaking. The equation of winning components chosen was as follows.

The the car style in this:

PLUS components of the background style in this:

MULTIPLIED BY a color and direction revamp

EQUALS this:

While I am secretly hoping that Vaughn’s life turns out like the Back to the Future trilogy so he can escort his aunt Heidi back to Dillards in Scottsdale where she let those fabulous silver sequined heels on clearance slip away in March 2000, my greater hope is that the red car painting stays on his walls for at least the next 20 years. After that, there could be some negotiations with a significant other involved. But, I'll just have to bribe that bridge when I come to it.

Scream it louder.

I love Auntie Heidi!!

Yes.  Good.

A Three Hour Mural, A Three Hour Mural

Just sit right back and enjoy this tale,

A tale of a design rush,

That started from this desert port

Aboard my tiny brush.

Don't worry, that is as far as I will go with the Gilligan's Island mural themed lyrics, but just know that a part of me didn't care what you thought and wanted to take it all the way.

If you find yourself in a rush to do a silhouette mural and don't have one of those fancy overhead projectors, then size out the picture in Visio or Photoshop and have them print it at Kinko's on the large format printers for less than $10 for a few feet.  

My 7th grade math teacher used the fancy overhead projector all the time.  It was awesome, because he spit a lot when he spoke (even more when he yelled) and you could see his little drool dollups soak into the dry erase marker on the math problems.  It kept me interested.

Cut out the silhouette and position it on the wall where you would like it.

Then trace. Hey! Take that back. Tracing is not cheating. If you have the skill and desire to free-hand your 3-hour adolescent boy wall mural then go ahead.  If I would have tried that in my time window, you would have found me sobbing and pounding the floor under a wall riddled with pencil holes and alligator tears.

Getting the hand that held the lightening as I wanted took long enough.

Then paint the outline of your sketch.

Then add lightening and more lightening.  And then some more lightening.

Then fill it like a delicious jelly donut.  

When you get sick of painting the inside and want to take a break, just stop and think about that time the 7th grade math teacher realized that you hadn't finished your homework and covered the projector with his rage saliva while he berated you and your lackluster ambition.  

Then start painting frantically again.

Do two plus coats of Glo-It on the lightening parts.

It's OK.  Go ahead and embrace those thoughts of painting on glow in the dark undergarments to reveal later in your rock star fantasy.  Then realize that now is not the time nor the place.  Try and keep it classy for at least 3 hours, Floozy.

Then marvel...and hope...and plead that the recipient likes it.  Because, you aren't going to get those three hours back.

Just like you aren't getting back those feelings of self-worth that you lost in the 7th grade.

Flashback: Vikings Rock!...ed in 2010

Part two of three in the nephew painting mission.

1 year, 11 months and 18 days have passed since the devastating Minnesota Vikings playoffs overtime loss.  You know, the one that squashed our dreams of a 2010 Superbowl Championship. Even though I am still healing, I have mustered up enough chutzpah to get through this one post about my nephew Nolan and his Vikings painting.

So, Nolan is a huge Vikings fan...not huge in stature, but huge in heart and team pride. The chosen painting for his bedroom would need to reflect that passion, something I was honored and excited to do. I searched the Internet and decided that a version of this little number would be my plan.

I switched the team font to their current version and simplified some of the stadium detail to make it easier for myself...and you know what? That painting was still hard as hell for me.

The part that rocked my world was the sky. I tried to put forth a graceful effort to wisp on Bob Ross 'happy little clouds.' But, they were just eaten up by my tumultuous hurricane clouds that rolled in over the stadium. Mr. Schatze couldn't even find the words to tell me lovingly that my sky was two strokes away from an alien invasion apocalypse squall. He just stared with a deeply concentrated look, searching hard for the right words to express honesty without risking a blubbering sob fest emotional break down on my part.

It was the excitement of the continued Vikings wins that kept me pushing through the gray skies to the end-zone. I kept thinking, "How great for Nolan to get a Vikings painting the same year they win the Superbowl!" About ten cloud layers later, I finally got to a partly cloudy/chance of drizzle sky that I could deal with.

(Moment of silence for what should have been.)

I was so happy to get that hog done...so braided Viking helmet wearing happy. But, the best part is staring at the picture of my favorite baller, Cutie McCuterton Nolan, in his Vikings room.

I love him.

Breaker, Breaker, Heartbreaker

Don't tell Mr. Schatze, but I have love in my heart for another man.

He has eyes that melt your heart.

A smile that makes you concede to any request.

He is a hockey player.

A dreamer.

A Twins fan.

And was a sheep in the Christmas program at church last month.

This is Luke.  If you are hugging your computer screen now I will understand.

I went to high school with Luke's mom Carissa in Luverne.  Technically, Carissa is from Kenneth, MN. No, no. We like Kenneth.  Kenneth doesn't fall into that 30-mile radius of judgement like Adrian does.  Maybe because it's kids came to Luverne for school.  No, it is because Kenneth is awesome.

- Everyone from Kenneth can name each and every other citizen, all 60 of them.
- When we would play a game of kick-the-can in Kenneth, we literally played in the entire town of Kenneth
- I've never know Carissa's street address from Kenneth.  I just put the name, city, sate and zip and it gets there every time.
- On a side note, Carissa's dad helped me install a CB radio in my station wagon in their Kenneth driveway.  My handle was 'Midnight Rambler.' We can talk about that more some other time.

I digress.  When I grow up, I want to be Carissa.  She is boisterous, loving, motivated, inspiring, caring, compassionate, enthusiastic, funny.  I could go on and on.  The point is, I have a long way to go to be a Carissa.

When she was pregnant with Luke, her first, I wanted to give her something unique.  Carissa is a volleyball expert and played during college at Bethel.  I really wanted to make a baby volleyball uniform with replica bunhuggers, like we wore in high school.  Yeah, kind of crossing the line since they knew it was going to be a boy.  Instead, I stalked Luke's dad, Chris.  He is a hockey star and current assistant hockey coach for the Bethel Royals.  A replica hockey jersey was in the works.

Yep, this is a recent photo.  Mustaches are back in a big way.  Get on board people.

I tracked down Chris' college number and started sewing like mad.  I finished just in time to get it in the mail for arrival after her baby shower. Don't judge my time management.  

Since it was late, Chris got to help open the gift at home.  Way better.  My lack of time management paid off this time.

From what I hear, fans have a hard time watching an actual Bethel hockey game this season.  You know, since they are so distracted by the handsome drooler in the front row.

Thanks Luke, for distracting me for the rest of the day with thoughts of squeezing the cheeks of my favorite hockey player.  I can't wait until you can run around and we can compete in a game of Kenneth kick-the-can.  I know all the best spots for hiding.  You don't stand a chance.

This has been the Midnight Rambler.

Over and out.